So What Am I Gonna Be When I Grow Up? Asking for a Friend.

Hey friends.

It’s been a minute since I’ve written a blog post, which is probably because I’ve been a tad preoccupied with one tiny little question:

WHAT AM I GONNA BE WHEN I GROW UP?!

And by “grow up,” I mean “when summer break is over,” because here we are in July and I am still over here refreshing job boards like it’s my full-time job. Spoiler alert: nothing new has popped up within 45 miles and I'm starting to stress sweat. I’ve already applied for every full-time teaching job that did get posted. And so far? Crickets. Literal silence. Not even a "thanks for your application" email. Just me, screaming into the void with my resume and Pinterest-perfect anchor charts.

So now I’m standing here at this weird adult-life crossroads wondering: Do I keep chasing the dream of my own classroom? Do I lean all the way into marketing and design work again? Do I open a half mozzarella stick - half cheesecake cafe called My Daddy's Cheesesticks? OOF. IDK.

Truly, anything feels possible and impossible at the same time. I am one minor inconvenience away from ordering business cards that say “Professional Overthinker, Semi-Pro Snack Enthusiast.”

In all seriousness though, I love teaching. I love big kids. I have an entire Amazon wishlist filled with the most adorable classroom supplies that are just sitting there, waiting to be useful. I didn’t go through this whole certification process and get my Master’s just to vibe on my couch all fall. So yes, I’m trying to trust the process. Yes, I’m praying and staying open. But also yes, I am teetering on the edge of a full-blown career identity crisis.

I don’t know what the next chapter looks like just yet. And if you're reading this and thinking, “same,” then hi, you’re not alone. Whether you’re job hunting, soul searching, or just trying to figure out what to make for dinner tonight, I see you.

Until then, I’ll be here. Bored. Designing cutesy creations for Teachers Pay Teachers. Dodging career-related questions at family functions. Adding things to my classroom wishlist just in case. Drinking iced coffee and hoping for signs from the universe. And occasionally sobbing because what in the world am I doing with myself?

If anyone has any clarity, please send it my way. Or snacks. Honestly, either one would help. Until then, I guess I'll move forward with this doctorate program that is going to in NO WAY enhance my chances of landing a dream job.. but will put repayment of my student loans on hold so I guess that's a plus.. right?

XOXO,

Ab